Monday, September 20, 2004
Yo, guess what? I received moi results.. its downright de-moralizing, disheartening, discouraging.. didnt do as well as i've expected for lit and hist..screwed them up real bad.. i was drifting away aimlessly, trying to steer the poor piece of self-made raft to habour..desperately to no avail.. And today,It was torned apart, mercilessly by the incessent pounding of Os and Fs.. I'm drown in the Sea of Disappointment, with no with no shore nor island in sight, the cold wind picked up its pace, and plunged me deeper into the darkness of doubt..
and for econs.. oh well.. let's just say tt i improved. -round of applause- after all, it isnt so hard to improve from a 0 to 1 then from a 99 to 100. -shrug shoulders-
anyway, i'm very determined to study hard from now..its exactly 46 days to moi A' levels GP paper. and every 1104 hours is important to me..
Perhaps, I have found a shore. It's time to swim out of these cold words.
-
Loves...
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Though i just said i'll NEVER write another entry (as it cost too much time & effort) I'm writing this for..
moi dearest Yang QuanJu..
Here is what i want to say:
Dearest yAng KuAnjoO aka CoT dOoDedoO
I LOVE YOU.
Yes.. Short and Sweet.. i know u'll be thinking: What? U're an arts student! Surely u can come up with something longer and more elaborate than that!! Well.. I cant say out much.. really.. He's such a sweet guy, helping me with everything, encouraging me when i am totally disheartened, cheering me up when i'm blue. being moi ultimate punching bag when i'm upset and frusrated and angry and pissed off..(which i usually am given my tempremental nature) He could still come up with a heartwarming smile and show me the brighter side of life... He is often subjected to the winds and blows of me.. the the unpredictable tests of having to crack a joke As And When i ordered him to..he cooks for me, wash the dishes for me, carries my bag when its too heavy (exceeding 500g is considered heavy) or Me when i'm too tired to walk.
-oh well.. the list goes on.. but i shant say anymore.. No amt of pages could fill all that entails him, and no amt of words can do justice to such a sweet darling. Right? i-can-see-u-blushing-dearie!- so that's why moi msg to u is short, simple and sweet.. love of the purest, simplest, innocent kind.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,
it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not
rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres."
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
-
Loves...
Saturday, September 18, 2004
yeah.. its being such a looonggg time since i enter this pathetic blog of mine.. it's like a castaway broken wooden shed.. a shelter only for the marginalised, a cover for the poor pieces of loose thoughts held together by a thin fragile string..
-geez- dont i just hate computers! it never put the correct things i wanted to add! moi designs stand out like a odd piece of awkard dung in the mist of all the flowers! It takes me 5 times the effort than to just write all these into a beautifully decorated page of moi diary!! Oh.. ok.. but here're the reasons for today's entry:
1. I could afford the 5 times of time & effort cuz moi prelims just ended.
2. It's gonna be a short entry (supposingly)
3. Moi dear friend chailing wanted to see something new in here.
Yeah.. so here's it! tata~!
Oh well.. prelims has ended.. you take a deep breath. Breathe in, Breathe out. ah.. nice cool.. yes, relax. Your muscles obeyed, tired from the constant contractions of anxiety. For a second, you are engulfed in senrenity, at peace, almost at "Nirvana". The bright blue sky is calm, the songbirds sing cheerfully. The cool sea breeze sweeping over your face gentlity.
For that ONE second. That was heaven.
"Rrrrinnnggg....!!!" Damn. You thought you could get away with that?! No!
Huh? Hold on a moment? With What??
Yeah.. What you thought was over was just the start of a fresh bolt of anxiety, nervousness, the deep fear of The Unknown. The Unknown came, striding in majestically, clad in deep royal purple with gold fringes. The trumpets horned, marking its arrival (it's worse that mere ringing). The previously blue sky now wears its funeral clothes. The songbirds, quiet with mourning. Calm Sea outwit by Raging storms, the winds deliver its blows, threatening to knock u off your feet.
As weary as you are, u cannot afford to stop. Learning to grasp hold of life in the mist of such storms. Between departure and arrival, what is there? We are suspended in a space capsule, communications all dead.
Suddenly the quest for whatever grinds
to a halt..
and i forget
why I have come so far.
A masterstroke of oversight has landed me
in the middle of nowhere, an interim
of lost connections, an unplanned pause
between journeys...
of mysteries well known, yet unknown.
So much for my happy ending.. the As are comming!!! there's a need to run for cover, as the bombs of anxiety, fear, restlessness explode in our faces. Notes rationing and a black market of hints and clues from various sources. The alarms ringing out at different times, prompting us to heed the emgergency reports of the war. of need to survive it till its occupation end.
-
Loves...
